Vaccines: Hurt.
Bags: Still packed from California.
Lesson Plans: Non-existent.
Spanish: Unheard podcasts.
LOOKING AHEAD: Am I ready to move to Ecuador for 3 months in just a few short weeks? YESSSS!!!! I can't sleep tonight because all I want to do is listen to Spanish conversations I don't understand on iTunes/FEIST's new album and blog/crochet/draw/plan. My portfolio is struggling because I feel like I have things to look forward to & my mind can't stay in the present. I've been to yoga 4 times in the last week because my mind feels so frenzied...or I'm on a caffeine high (large 2Story caramel latte) :]
I also met Brittany tonight (a fellow UGA lady going to Quito). She's the bomb & seems like a great gal to be roamin' around South America with. She's laid back, likes adventuring in the outdoors, & seems simple in that great way.
I have been thinking a lot about simplicity lately & how I can work towards it in my life. I feel I should start with my body, then materials, then mind. Yoga has been simplifying many things for me, like my urge to criticize myself, my mind, my body, my actions. It's unhealthy & makes me quite irrational, which is one thing I used to pride myself in NOT being. I believe that part of this is due to the 50 kids I had looking at me during the November unit of my student teaching. They were my audience for something I was NOT ready to perform. I loved them, but they definitely didn't love me back. I know now that my students will never "like" me because I am constantly assessing them as students, so they must feel as if they should constantly assess me as a teacher. Sometimes I felt my "Lauren" qualities must fall by the wayside to teach; however, in the future when I don't have someone watching me (my fabulous mentor teacher that I couldn't live up to), I hope my quirks, imperfections, & strengths as a growing individual will be able to be a bridge for my students & I to move beyond student-teacher & towards learner-experienced learner...or something as Idealistic as that :]
LOOKING BACK:
As my last semester at UGA wraps up, I have noticed how much I have GROWN, learned, & experienced during the last 4 1/2 years of college. When I think about it, everything leading up to today seems extremely important: changing my major 4 times (journalism, rec & sports leisure, Political Science, & finally English Education), the weirdos I encountered at Young Harris (goodness, I will always hold those softballers, stinky new family, & rednecks dear), living within 1/2 mile from the best of these in Athens (remember that snow day when we all had hot-totties, sledded, & played rummy?), meeting the love of my life (Yeah, that's you Chelsea Tanner), all the traveling/working/adventuring/leading I did all over this beautiful country (GORP, ORC, NH, RI, MA, ME, NY, & especially California), the changes my body has gone through trying to find a hobby to help me feel balanced after softball was over (climbing, backpacking, caving, yoga, & most recently, learning to 'yak), watching my family grow & change into something nearly unrecognizable (Zady-my 3 year old best friend, Lynds-getting married!, Tori- shortstop freshman, Sky-a woman!, Mamaw-my hero, Jen Jen- my 40 year old best friend), culturing a love for one single human that I never thought I could give & care so much about, & most recently, my re-vamped love for reading & teaching the words that have molded me to teenagers who could really care less, but are amazing little humans nonetheless.....listen to me. I sound like a grandma going on & on like I have some sort of significant experiences.
DON'T LOOK: I should sleep now I suppose, or at least work on my portfolio. In the spirit of remembering, I'll leave you with a song, a poem, & a book suggestion, because this is my life:
SONG: Feist, Bittersweet Memories in honor of the paragraph above.
POEM: The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Eliot in honor of the self-criticism & I am leaving behind & the simplicity I am working towards.
BOOK: The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera because it has brilliant quotes such as...
“But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave.”
“A single metaphor can give birth to love.”
“Living is being happy: seeing, hearing, touching, drinking, eating, urinating, defecating, diving into the water and gazing at the sky, laughing and crying.”
“the only relationship that can make both partners happy is one in which sentimentality has no place and neither partner makes any claim on the life and freedom of the other. ” “He suddenly recalled from Plato's Symposium: People were hermaphrodites until God split then in two, and now all the halves wander the world over seeking one another. Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost.”
SIMPLICITY. PATIENCE. COMPASSION.
